My 14 year old son......he got mad at me and went to his Mom's about a week and a half ago. If he didn't get his way, he'd say "I'll just go to mom's", or if I told him 'no' he'd say "I'll just go to mom's", or if he was questioned or grounded he'd say "I'll just go to mom's"...so he did. He's only done this one other time, when he got grounded. And she let him do immediately the very thing that I grounded him from. It prevents him from learning that there are consequences to his behavior. It only teaches him to be manipulative. He has lived with me exclusively for 2 and 1/2 years. He has been torn up bad, emotionally, since the separation. My life has revolved around him since then. I've been loving and compassionate towards him throughout. He's struggled, and still is. His counselor tells me she's never dealt with a child this hard. He vents his anger toward me, at the drop of a hat, over the smallest thing. I've had to walk on eggshells myself with him. He's capable of incredible meanness toward me. It's heartbreaking. We had a great Christmas. But afterwards, he started drawing his mother like a gun. Using her as a weapon against me. I would just respond with "OK son". Anyway, he's been there for nearly 2 weeks. I haven't heard from him. Yesterday I sent him a text that said simply "thinking about you. Love you." That's been the extent of communication between us. Last time he left, I asked him to come home after he'd been gone for 3 days. He saw it as a weakness and told others that I begged him to come home. He made some derogatory comments before he left this time about me begging him to come home. I haven't and don't intend to. I'd like him to come home. But only if he treats me with the same love and respect that I show him. This has been very disheartening, in the midst of the things I've been doing, and putting forth so much efforts to create moments of love with him. And I'm also concerned that she'll take advantage of the situation legally.
I'd appreciate any feedback.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
