waiting for the tides to change

[BFloat]

Thank you purg, SIAS, and bklyn for reminding me I'm not going crazy!! Although my sister is starting to think otherwise.

My mom called after dinner to see how i doing. She had obviously heard of my cry! When she asked if I wanted her to come over I just cried again. After the kids went to bed we watched "the help". Honestly, there have been brief moments where i feel a little bit like myself again. Fleeting.. But it was there.

I always check on my kids sometime during the night to retuck them in.. Or straighten them out.. Tonight I watched their beautiful little faces sleeping and stroked their hair and I thought to myself.. This is what H is missing. But it's a choice he's made to miss it. For me, I cherish these moments knowing that tomorrow, they will have grown just a little bit more.

Life is a series of choices. Love is a choice as well. Tonight I choose to focus that love on my 2 little ones and my mom who has been there since the bomb.

Wow. I sound all better. LOL. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be posting about another emotional meltdown. Get me off!!!