W stayed over last night out of convenience. In another room but here.
This morning I was up first and brought her coffee when she woke up. An old ritual, we often spent mornings talking over coffee. Generally starting about whatever and then eventually about our day ahead and planning business. This morning we did that. Enjoyed coffee and time together.
After awhile when I was explaining something technical I noticed her tighten up. I could see the anger. Noticed it but moved on.
Later a similar situation but this time it led to a fight. (we generally don't fight at all). She was pissed because I was explaining things in a technical nature and she didn't want to have to understand. She actually called me an a__ over it.
A touchy spot here. Her perception is along the lines of me making her feel stupid. For her this is an early childhood thing. the way she tells it her dad would blow up and get frustrated with her when she couldn't understand a math problem. Her dad is quite intelligent but sharp tempered.
For me it's a tender spot also. I always felt ostracized for being intelligent. Still do a lot. It's amazing I'm not a recluse (I fully planned on being one).
So here's a tough spot for both of us and very possibly at the core of our troubles. Love, in one sense, is about how one person makes another feel. Making a person feel stupid does not inspire love. Nor does making a person feel alone.
On one hand I think I'll just go join MENSA and be done with it. On the other I know that would be running from my problems.
