BF- let's start buying lotto tickets!!!
We had been talking about upgrading when he got back from AFG... now we'll be getting separate places when he gets back... I'll be sad to see this house go, in a way, because it's the last place that H and I were together as a married couple smirk All of our R memories, end here.

My H has 'moved out' but not really: all his clothes are here, he cooks his meals here, he leaves his laptop here... he really only has the other place to crash at night. I'm really getting to the point of putting my foot down and stop letting him cake eat... but then I run the risk of making the path home a little rougher. And besides, he's leaving in 4 months- so all his stuff will be here anyways while he's gone.

Tonight:

The baby is developing a rash- and I shared that with H. He came over after the gym (at 8pm) to check on him. We agreed to take him back to the doctor in the morning, and depending on what they say- the baby might not go to OW's house tomorrow... I felt better about this talk that our earlier one that he hung up on me. I was really pleased to see that he came to check on the baby- positive. He stayed for almost an hour- and played with the baby and helped to put him to sleep-positive. BIG POSITIVE in my book: H wasn't out with OW for her birthday!! [He left our house at 9, and because I know OW's habits and routines with her girls- I KNOW that she wouldn't go out that late]**She didn't even tell H that I gave her my present- because H noticed it wasn't on the table anymore and asked where it was**

I'm pleased by tonight's interaction- but I know that nothing has changed in his mind, so I have no expectations. He's comfortable around me- which is good and bad. Good: because I like not having tension in the air or knowing that he's dying to run away... Bad: because it means that he's moved past any confusion that might have been there and is satisfied with this level of R with me.

I said something that irritated him and immediately apologized: a total 180 for me! I was even able to make him grin when I said: "hey, forget that happened, ok? never happened" (and I was standing right in front of him and reached out to rub his arm-what I always did when he was upset to calm him down- and he didn't shy away) I know I shouldn't have done that, but instinct took over in that moment- but it didn't backfire on me... this time.

Tomorrow is another day to work on me... I'm going to church tomorrow night and maybe a little shopping.


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12