Here we go!

[alone]

Just writing some of the things that I have been feeling. Having a hard time about the person that I have become. Gone are the days that I do not question my relationship with my husband. I wish that I did not have these feelings. He has been really great since he has moved back home, but after 30 years of marriage and thinking of him as my best friend and always trusting him. I do not trust him, I still feel like I can not confide to him. I have never felt this way about my husband and hope that time will heal my wounds. Just feel that the person that I have become is not what I want. I love my husband and do want to stay married but how do I deal with the jealousy and not trusting of him that I feel now. I want to say that I know that he will be there for me in the future, but I can't. The hurt that I felt in him leaving me and having an affair leaves me wondering. I'm I the only person that I can trust. I want I relationship that I feel confident in, I want what I had before of all this. Going through this will my relationship with my husband come out stronger??? Or will I always feel that I can only count on myself.