What else could I have done?

[goldeylox]

Antlers, I remember you from when I was on the boards a couple of years ago, just read through your thread to get a bit caught up and a couple of things came to mind...
1) From day one, you have 'owned' your shortcomings, and I see how much you've grown since then.
2) I'm sorry your M could not be saved, I know that would have been your first choice.
3) You are a man of God, and that is to be admired.
4) I hear a bit of pursuing when it comes to the kids. I struggle with this at times, too. I'm co-dependent, and have to work hard at having good boundaries.
5) If you've only been working at 'letting go' of your M since October, it may take a little more time. You may have to fake it 'til you make it. OR perhaps the holidays just had you in a bit of a funk.
6) On the GAL and 180's, stop using the word Try. I'm from Oregon, where we just do it.
Your story always intrigued me, since I was the WAW on the other side of the same type of sitch. Forgiveness is a giant issue that we are addressing now in MC.