Accuracy - Yes, my brain works fine most days. Its my heart that's the issue. LOL I do have some support, but not someone I would feel comfortable calling day or night. I have some great friends, but they have their own families and I don't want to bring my drama into theirs. We haven't told the family yet, so I can't call any of them. (Well, I did tell my older half-sister, but she's really know help as she mentioned going to the range. LOL)
I really like the acquaintance & friend standard. That made me think more about our interactions. When I think about it like that, its low pressure. I just need to remind myself not to expect a a good reaction - or any reaction at all.
I think I just need the board for support. I tend to get very dramatic and caught up in the things that aren't working. I'm definitely more of a glass is half empty person. So if you guys can be there to talk me off the edge of the ledge occasionally, that should work.
Today's posts really helped put some things in perspective. Instead of talking about it, I need to be about it.
Onyourside - I was talking about the site moderation. I think I'm finally out of it, so my posts will show up when I submit them. It was taking my anxiety to level 42. LOL
My husband sort of acknowledged there was another woman. He never came out and said yes or no. He said it just happened when I asked him about it. And then I went off. LOL He told me he was feeling done in our marriage before this happened. But he still hasn't said what THIS is. I asked him if he accidentally fell in the bed, and he just gave me this look. From what I've able to gather from my snooping when I found out, I believe she said I love you (can't remember the exact email - he may have responded with the same), and he's written her poetry. He writes, and we fell in love over his letters and poetry, so this was yet another thing that killed me. There was a reference in one email to them being together in 2012. They are still in contact via cell phone because its in my name, and he always goes over the minutes and they send me a text message or email about it.
I also know he saw her the other weekend when he was out of town because I asked him and he said yes. I also asked if she knew he was married and he said yes. I asked if he had told her I said I wasn't giving up - he said yes. She's even friended my stepson on FB, which caused me to go through the roof when I found out. Funny thing is through my snooping before, I also think she has a BF (the father of her two kids). He still tells me he loves me and kisses me goodbye every morning (so its on the cheek now, but last week it was nothing). This whole thing is too bizarre for me.
I exercise but normally on my way home from work. Watching TV together used to be our thing until things got back and then we were in separate rooms alot. Any suggestions on things I can do by myself even if he's in the room would be great. Thought about getting a jigsaw puzzle to put together. I used to love those.
