I will second that, if you can find a way to remove her power over you, it's amazingly liberating. MUCH easier said than done, but doing the opposite, like FaithnAK suggests is a good approach. If you don't accept her hostility and rewritten history, then don't accept her nicey nice and physical overtures either. If she puts her hand on your shoulder, step away.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015