WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3

[witz10]

25 sorry I missed this question
give me a timeline for all this please. When did the m start changing for the worse and when did you get the bomb?
I am guessing everything changed for me after my daughter was born end of July 2008. I looked at her and we had to figure out how we were going to afford her. We were still in our condo. The idea was we would buy the condo and then sell it in a few years to buy a house. Well after we bought the condo prices dropped and we were underwater with it. Still stuck with it now.
We lost the romance around that point. I took a pay cut at the office to "benefit the whole family." The only benefit I got was being able to take my daughter to the office with me everyday. The office was the daycare for her, so in all honesty by working for my family at that stage saved us money on daycare for her. My son was in daycare for half days. So we still had 2 incomes coming in. Plus all our bills we accumulated from living in Los Angeles.
We rarely went out, nights we would sit on the couch and watch tv. Granted she always had one leg draped over me I would rub or rest my hand on. But it was around this time that I would stay up late to be by myself and watch tv.
At one point I guess in late 2009 or early 2010 we got into an argument and she wanted to do couples therapy. I was fine with that. She even said why not call my rabbi and talk with him. I did and spoke with him one time and then let it go. We never brought it up again till February 2011. I thought everything was fine. I worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs she worked her 2 jobs. We had the schedule working out. We spent really not a lot of time together.
We went out for Valentines dinner February 11, 2011. We went to dinner we had a gift card to a restaurant. We had little money in our account and I had $3 on me. We covered the entire meal with the gift card and I had to leave the $3 for tip. Now I am not cheap I always tip at least 20%. We really didn't have a lot of conversation at dinner then we got into a argument that night at home. Kids were sleeping over at grandparents.
After that point we went to couples therapy for 5 sessions. She wrote me a letter I still have and after reading that it made me aware of the problems and I was slowly fixing them. She still kept saying she wanted a separation cause she was so angry from all the years of acting like this. The therapist told her it was premature and to hold off. We then stopped going to this therapist.
Now my wife also has issues with this cause she kept saying our relationship was like her parents. Her dad goes to the moose lodge and drinks most nights while her mother stays home and watches tv. My W on Friday nigths would go out with her girlfriends and then come home to me sitting on the couch. Now Saturday night I would work she would go hang with neighbors. I would go over there when I got home from work. But she felt like we were modeling her parents. Also when she was a little girl her mom would send her to the bar to go get her father and bring him home for dinner. So she has had to be the grownup for quite some time.
In our relationship when it was falling apart I was letting her make every decision. Dinner, how much to spend on things, kids, etc. We became more roommates and she felt like I was another child to take care of.

Pretty much it in a nutshell.

Over the summer my therapist was away and I went to another one to just get an opinion. He asked me if she and I were to get back together what is to prevent me from this happening again. I told him ME. I will remember all this for the rest of my life and make damn sure this will never happen again with her or with anyone else.