Building a more solid personal Foundation

[~ kd ~]

I hate to say it SBH, but in some ways I almost envy you. And I totally understand and respect your decision.

And yes, there certainly are no do-overs...

Live life well and carry on... no more, no less.

And please do start a thread because it could very well be interesting how this all plays out for you.

[LITB]

As I had mentioned yesterday, my W still reaches out to me. I wasn't sure if things would change after the confirmation of OM on Saturday.

Yesterday morning she called me to let me know that our financial adviser's father had passed away. We have become good friends with her, so I can see the legitimacy of the call.

In the afternoon when I left work, I called to talk to our children. When our S5 finished talking, she got on the phone and we talked for about 5 minutes about things of little significance.

I'll take those as positive signs. At the very least, she feels comfortable talking to me.

[jbnati]

KD is right about you having the market cornered on GAL.

You've got the market cornered on that... you better not ever be an OM, 'cause how could anyone compete with you?

Thanks gentlemen! GAL'ing has been something I've worked pretty hard on. The hard work has paid off - I've been reaping the benefits. I don't want to go back to the way it was.

ROFL KD! Hey man, I'm just trying to be OM in my own sitch. I would never do that to my LBS bretheren.

LITB - I think the whole thoughts about dating are pretty natural. I personally on one hand don't look forward to getting back in the game if it comes to that. On the other hand, it's pretty exciting. It's a totally different game out there now. Besides any woman you meet could be a future WAW. On a serious note, I think I am in a similar place as yourself in that I have no business getting involved with anyone else right now. I don't want to hurt someone else or hurt myself.

[jbnati]

I'll take those as positive signs. At the very least, she feels comfortable talking to me.

Always take the positives as you can get them. This is a good thing for your kids regardless of the final dispostition of your situation.

[LITB]

Besides any woman you meet could be a future WAW.

This made me laugh JB. Of course we should be better equipped to not find ourselves in this sitch again. Doesn't mean it can't happen. It just means that we have no excuses to be a part of the problem.

On a personal note, things are beginning to heat up on the job front in NM. I have 2 interviews on Monday and trying to coordinate another for Friday with 2 more possibilities in the oven.

Hopefully something will come to fruition soon.

This whole thing about finding out about OM sukks, but I'm glad that I don't have to wonder anymore. I feel as though that I can finally let go completely and move on. I'm looking forward to the future and I am going to embrace the opportunities that lie ahead.

[~ kd ~]

I've got a buddy who has happily remained single and says he continues to want that, over 10 years after his D. He really does seem happy, but I think that eventually I will risk getting involved with a potential WAS...

Fingers crossed for your job hunt, LITB!

[♪CS♪]

LITB, how’s it going man, I don’t get over here a lot these days.

My advice, focus less on if these interactions with your W are positive, negative, or indifferent. You know what they are to you, and you don’t know what they are to her. That just is, and that acceptance will make things much less complicated.

We talk about stopping the mind reading, this is good, because none of us can do it, so the attempt is really just our minds playing tricks on us. Try and step away from your mind, and view these thoughts from an outside perspective.

When our minds are doing all this thinking, this is what then makes us question how we should behave. Should I contact her? Should I act this way? Act that way? Should I do this or that? This confusion is due to these mind tricks and not focusing on what we know, but rather these stories in our head.

You know your W is in another R right now. If they have introduced the children I think we know that this is not just a casual R. You know that she is divorcing you. This isn’t meant to sound uncaring and to cause pain, but rather the opposite. Emotional pain is not caused by something outside of ourselves like these items above, but from the resistance to them. The acceptance of what is will make all of this much clearer and less painful.

With this acceptance now all you have to do is behave like the man you want to be. With your faith, your beliefs and your morals.

Take care man. Peace!

[25yearsmlc]

hey Country,

long time no hear...what's up in your sitch? Where is your thread, and Denvers?

any news on 9?

Sorry for the hijack LITB...you do sound as if you have turned a corner...

((( )))

[LITB]

I've got a buddy who has happily remained single and says he continues to want that, over 10 years after his D. He really does seem happy, but I think that eventually I will risk getting involved with a potential WAS...

Fingers crossed for your job hunt, LITB!

I'm with you KD. I am sure to risk getting involved with a WAS.

Thanks on the well wishes on the job front. I just nailed down another interview for Friday. It is going to be a whirlwind weekend.

I'm excited for it.

[LITB]

LITB, how’s it going man, I don’t get over here a lot these days.

My advice, focus less on if these interactions with your W are positive, negative, or indifferent. You know what they are to you, and you don’t know what they are to her. That just is, and that acceptance will make things much less complicated.

We talk about stopping the mind reading, this is good, because none of us can do it, so the attempt is really just our minds playing tricks on us. Try and step away from your mind, and view these thoughts from an outside perspective.

When our minds are doing all this thinking, this is what then makes us question how we should behave. Should I contact her? Should I act this way? Act that way? Should I do this or that? This confusion is due to these mind tricks and not focusing on what we know, but rather these stories in our head.

You know your W is in another R right now. If they have introduced the children I think we know that this is not just a casual R. You know that she is divorcing you. This isn’t meant to sound uncaring and to cause pain, but rather the opposite. Emotional pain is not caused by something outside of ourselves like these items above, but from the resistance to them. The acceptance of what is will make all of this much clearer and less painful.

With this acceptance now all you have to do is behave like the man you want to be. With your faith, your beliefs and your morals.

Take care man. Peace!

That is ^^^^^ wisdom right there. (I just went Starsky on you)

Good to see you around Country. It is funny you made an appearance. I was thinking about you, 2step and a few others yesterday. I hope you are doing well man.