WHG: Chasing that rabbit with the pocketwatch

[workinghardguy]

Maybe it was the delivery she did not appreciate? I really don't think WAS like math.

I'm wondering if it isn't the presumption of inability. Sometime in the past few days my W was explaining that when she's run the numbers she still has a bunch of money at the end of the month. She was wondering if she's missing something.

In the past I would've said something like, "I'll look at your spreadsheet and see what you missed." And that statement and the mindset that created it assumes a) she missed something and b) she wants my help.

Instead I said "If you would like I can look at the spreadsheet and double-check it." In reality I should have not even offered and simply let her ask for the help if she wanted. Though I feel better about the mindset I used than what I would have used in the past.

What I did find funny though is that "lots of money left over" is $500. That's with nothing put towards clothing, household needs, medical costs, savings, Christmas club, emergency fund, or entertainment/fun spending. With three kids you can burn through $125 a week in the blink of an eye. BUT, I said nothing critical... only that I'm glad to hear the numbers might work for her. Of course they should work with her student loans in deferral, but that's another story.

And her situation won't be that dire... she hasn't inputted increased CS from her XH or CS from me.