Rick, you received a profound gift from your W that you may not quite realize. Or maybe you do.
What I have especially observed recently and along this ride, has been clearly mirrored in other WAS thoughts. Most of them would be loathe or at least afraid to share with their spouses, what your W has shared with you. They use the "false hope" script as justification.
It is becoming clear to me that many WAS do still love their spouses at the core, but they feel trapped and only when they truly feel unrestrained and free to do anything and everything they can to get unstuck, is when they become open to a truth that it is only themselves who are restricting them, not their spouses, M, children, work, etc, etc...
The acts and choices of a WAS through this transition to understanding and awareness can be negative, hurtful, and painful (to both parties and even more than just the spouses). We all make bad choices from time to time. We are human. It all ends... AND BEGINS... with forgiveness...
Keep moving forward, rick. There is light at the end of this tunnel, no matter how it ends up looking.
