Husband Left...Part 4

[Accuray]

Hi Hopeful,

You can also choose not to respond at all. Here are my concerns about your husband:

1) He likes to pursue
2) He's afraid of needing you more than you need him
3) He has a history of trying to manipulate you to keep you needing him more.

I'm also very convinced that you need to take him back on your terms not his. I'm talking about equalizing the balance of power in the relationship. You need to be able to have boundaries that are respected.

Here are my thoughts on this email:

a) It's great that he's coming back to the table and being open with you about the fact that he's thinking about returning -- that tells me that DB is working!
b) He may be baiting you to tell him how much you want him back. He's dangling a carrot to see how quickly you'll jump at it. You've shown him some distance, and that you can survive without him, and that's knocked him off balance. The e-mail he's sent is very non-committal. He's saying that he's afraid that coming back to you is just the path of least resistance. That's not what you want to be. You want him to WANT to be back and to be convinced it's what he wants. Whereas the e-mail is progress, it is not good enough to get Hopeful321 back!

I think you're best served longer term by being a bit hard to get right now.

Bklynmom's e-mail was good, but I might sit on it for a day or two before sending it to see what happens if you don't jump the minute he makes an overture.

Make him work.

Accuray