Couple things. You mention you are walking on egg shells. That's not a good thing. You also seem to be indicating that you are not happy about the current sitch, also not a good thing.
I understand if you can't think of any reasons. Perhaps your W is simply so negative about things possibly getting better, she is constantly on the watch for you to screw up so she can once again remind herself that it's not going to work. In turn, that's creating a sense of nervousness in you, which she is picking up on and misinterpreting as you not being authentic (ie. living a lie).
As hard as it is while we are IN the sitch, what would life look like if everything (within your control) was "perfect". Perhaps it's time for at least YOU to live that life and live it as YOU would live it.
Your last post to 25 speaks to this.
Should you confront her about her not doing the work? I don't know if that's how I would do it. I'd be more passive, but that's not to say in your sitch that would be the "right" thing.
But any thing you do right now, is going to change the dynamic. Either confront, or stop walking on egg shells, or live the dream. Any one of these is going to make a difference and you can adjust accordingly. Like in the beginning, it is likely that no one things is going to be a deal breaker, atm.
Your goal is to generate cognitive dissonance. A situation where both of you end up stepping out of your comfort zone and able to see the sitch for what it is and what it's not. And with that vantage point, re-adjusting course to steer in a new, more positive direction.
