As always I hope this new year has many finding themselves in a better situation or at least still fighting the good fight.
I go in to sign the D paperwork tomorrow. I fought a good long fight, and while it's not entirely the way I envisioned it, I'm at the very least ok with having Join Custody of our S and visitation is a bit more streamlined.
In a prior conversation she mentioned she still doesn't trust me and I just sympathized with her. 50% of what they do and none of what they say right? She felt I was sneaky and that if I did want things done right I would have just agreed to the original stipulations. She felt that I lied to her in saying I agreed to the divorce (my exact words were actually, "If you want a divorce, I cannot stop you." Really now? I'm confused at the world she populated in her head, but I would rather have died before I let anyone get sole custody of my child and even then I'd make sure I'd haunt whoever had sole custody if that were the case.
The trust issue does bother me though. She felt I was sneaky and lied to her on the basis that I contested custody and visitation. Not once did I disagree on paper to the divorce, I mean let's face it she was intent on this for a long time and I'll just let her live with it as I continue to be the best father I can be, but I just don't get it. I would chalk it up to script I guess, but as of right now I'm just going to go through this with my head held high because in the long run, I did what I felt was right for my relationship with my son. And in many ways, so did she. It just [censored] we couldn't come to amicable decisions face to face and she relied on cowardly attack tactics to try and push me to sign faster, but I stood strong. I don't know if it was the right thing, I just know I had to fight for my son, and if she holds that against me I think that says more about her than it does me.
On a brighter note, I had an awesome time taking my S to a Thomas and Friends Holiday Show at the New York Botanical Garden during his birthday week. He got scared of Thomas, but he definitely enjoyed hanging out with Daddy. She came along for it too to supervise, and all in all we actually had a good time. A small, solemn reminder of how things could have been. I guess as is always the case, time will tell.
I'll try to catch up on all of your posts in the meantime and psot where viable, but I do want to thank all of you for the assistance through thick and thin. We're all in this together and right now I may be divorced, but I'm definitely not done.
