waiting for the tides to change

[BFloat]

My H finally left. I decided to take a nap before my night shift so I wouldn't have to talk to him. In the past, he would always wake me to let me know he was leaving but not today. It's hard to imagine that he use to be the ideal husband that all my friends were jealous of.

Before I went in to work, I read message from a gf of mine saying how strong i was.. How kids are lucky to have me etc. I broke down in my car and just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. Another gf who I had txted showed up w/in 5 mins to give me a hug and walk me inside. Major breathing.

I have been reading a ton of posts to get ideas on what to do and a major thing is not attaching myself to what H says. It's really hard because all I hear is how determined he is not to be with me anymore.

It's so hard to be home because of all the memories attached. My babies.. They really deserve more than this.