BF- thanks for checking in on me.... I know what a rough time you're going through right now.
I had considered taking the baby, and I guess it's still an option. My reason for going with out any kids was so that I could focus on myself and process through these emotions..... something I haven't been able to do because of daily responsibilities. And if I take the baby, I'm taking my responsibilities with me.
This is the hardest thing to work out in my head: I feel like Im abandoning them and running away from responsibilities.... even though this is not my motivation, I'm afraid it's how it will be perceived. If I could find a compromise that would meet my emotional need right now- I would jump all over it!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
your ultimate reaction to his nonsense was good...
I wish OW were not the source of the daycare...then again, the sooner he sees what "real life" would be like with her ALL the time, maybe processes the r faster.
Like you said, you have no control over it so keep "washing your hands."
Thing is, i wish your trip had some process or structure b/c just hanging out by the beach or whatever, only clears your head so much.
Just make sure you "do" something while you are there to gain some clarity - which is what I think you want.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25- I have already filled out paperwork to volunteer at my mom's HS. I knew that I needed something to get me out of bed each day. Some other GAL plans I have while down there: *going to Yoga/Pilates with my Grandma. (this may sound pathetic, but she is 86, looks like she's 60 and does this stuff 5 days a week! She's going to outlive all of us!) *go horseback riding at my mom's barn. (I was a competitive show jumper until I was 17 when my horse died suddenly- never had the heart to continue after that. Now I just ride her horse for fun.) *visit some very dear friends that I haven't seen in 5 years- the H actually married us and he's known me since I was 6. He's aware of my sitch and I value his advice and comfort. *my dad is going to take me car racing (this is going to sound snobbish, please don't judge too hashly....) My dad was the pres of the Porsche Club in northern FL. He still participates in events, and he said theres a race trial while I'm visiting.... I used to drive when I lived at home (1991, 911 Carrera convertible:THE classic body style! In case you car people were wondering) so this will be like old times.
I hate that I have to leave my boys to GAL, but I hope that some of these will bring back the old Purg and give me a sense of purpose again
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
hey....are you competing with my birthday skydiving or stand up comedy GAL?
You're getting dang close. I say, GO FOR IT!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Lol! I'm actually scheduled to go skydiving in February! ( here in VA) I wanted to do something empowering!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
25- I have already filled out paperwork to volunteer at my mom's HS. I knew that I needed something to get me out of bed each day. Some other GAL plans I have while down there: *going to Yoga/Pilates with my Grandma. (this may sound pathetic, but she is 86, looks like she's 60 and does this stuff 5 days a week! She's going to outlive all of us!) *go horseback riding at my mom's barn. (I was a competitive show jumper until I was 17 when my horse died suddenly- never had the heart to continue after that. Now I just ride her horse for fun.) *visit some very dear friends that I haven't seen in 5 years- the H actually married us and he's known me since I was 6. He's aware of my sitch and I value his advice and comfort. *my dad is going to take me car racing (this is going to sound snobbish, please don't judge too hashly....) My dad was the pres of the Porsche Club in northern FL. He still participates in events, and he said theres a race trial while I'm visiting.... I used to drive when I lived at home (1991, 911 Carrera convertible:THE classic body style! In case you car people were wondering) so this will be like old times.
I hate that I have to leave my boys to GAL, but I hope that some of these will bring back the old Purg and give me a sense of purpose again
Wow wow wow!! I am jealous of your line-up!! And I am so sorry to hear what happened to your horse Did you hear about Eric Lamaze and his poor baby Hickstead? He died of a heart-attack and Mr. Lamaze is most likely going to retire for the same reasons you did. It broke his heart. I was a competitive horse rider as well until I was 21. I rode hunter jumper, then moved over the three-day eventing, then as I got older and more chickenS*hit I focused on dressage.
I have no useful advice for you as far as your M and your H. You're one of many on this board who sound like amazing people and my heart goes out to you. I hope this trip 'hits the spot' for you, you DESERVE it!!!
Great GAL activities Purg! I can understand your reluctance to leave your kids but you are doing this for you right? If this is good for Purg then it's good for them. A happier more clear-headed mom will benefit your kids as well so I think you should make the most of it.
You are going skydiving??!! OMG, I would never ever do that.
I am sure it will be very empowering but its insane. By hey since you drive race cars...
Dont know if you can work on this while on vaca, but it just seems to me like you need more support when you are home. To lose your 2 best friends at once is tough. While on vaca maybe do some googling of support group back home, it will help you find friends to share with.
Also do you ride horses at home??
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Wow skydiving!! I have been trying to work up the courage. I have a friend who did it after her husband passed away. She loved it. I mentioned recently that I was considering it and she wants to go again. If I go, I will most likely drive to Long Island to do it with my friend.
I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it after you do it.
Did you hear about Eric Lamaze and his poor baby Hickstead? He died of a heart-attack and Mr. Lamaze is most likely going to retire for the same reasons you did. It broke his heart. I was a competitive horse rider as well until I was 21. I rode hunter jumper, then moved over the three-day eventing, then as I got older and more chickenS*hit I focused on dressage.