Reminding him of the day will push him farther away. He wants out, not to remember anything romantic. Hes a WAH, an alien. No heartstrings to tug right now. Contacting is pursuing and is no different than throwing yourself to the floor, hugging his legs and crying and begging him not to go. Not attractive. Think back to your exes..... Would you be attracted to them if they did that? Or reminded you of an anniversary?
Be strong. Men value what they have to work for.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
what you really need to believe and accept is that by
not pursuing him, you are working FOR your m
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
We did talk this past weekend. He said that he wants us to get back together, but he was scared that my changes would not last. He likes my changes. He said that I was the woman that he met and he liked it.
sorry for all the posts, but it's coming to me in bits and pieces.
He also did say, I don't want to give you hope about us because I don't want you to quit working on yourself, but if the changes continues he could see us together again. He said for me just think that we are not getting back together and continue my work.
You want him back on your terms, not his. Remember that, you don't want him back if he's going to do this again. You don't want him back if he's going to continue to flirt with other women on the side and tell you it's OK. You don't want him back if he's going to manipulate you and put you down. You need to get to a place where he wants you more than you want him. If he "takes you back" you'll find yourself here again. You want him to feel you are taking him back.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Hopeful... I read your posts this morning and have been trying how to figure out how to respond all day. I truly, really truly don't want to rain on your parade of hope.... but how do you know he's not stringing you along to keep that door open and keep his bootie call? What is HE doing to change and win you back? Why should he have to change or come back when he's got the best of both worlds right now and doesn't seem to care if you're miserable and your family is broken up? Yes, he's acting like a child... but you're acting like a love sick groupie teenage girl. You're a grown woman, with 4 children, who deserves to be loved and treated with respect. You have to draw some boundaries or go dark or stand up for yourself in some way or he'll just keep stepping on you until he's replaced with you with someone new and then you'll be hurt even more and have no pride left. Why don't you be that someone new... note the word NEW. I'm really worried about you. Hugs.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
