LITB, I hear you loud and clear. It's a tough balance between letting your W miss you and showing your positive changes. I think the best thing you can do is to continue to work toward being your best possible self. When you have contact with your W, keep being positive and upbeat.
I don't think it's your job to teach your W consequences. That being said, you can allow your W to feel the consequences by not buffering her from them. After all, you have your own life to live.
I've been asking myself lately if my W is someone I would be interested in dating. The answer to that is IDK. She definitely has the inside track if she indicates she wants to come back.
