For me thinking about life without my H or being a single mom is unimaginable even now that I am in a calmer place. Maybe its possible to be at peace and imagine your life without your H but I think its easier to find peace if you just look at today.
Today your H will come home. Today you have a healthy and beautiful son who is never gonna be 4 again. Enjoy it.
A guy I know from work completely unexpectedly lost his adult son the first week in January. He is devestated. But there is nothing the Dad could have done to prevent this inevitablity.
If the dad had had a fortune teller -tell him in Sept. that son would die this January the Dad would have spent 4 months trying to stop it. Living in fear over something he couldnt stop.
You do not know what your H will do in time. Tonight he will sleep in the same home as you and your son.
Get off facebook. It is anti DB and will fill you with the wrong messages. Society gives us this message that we need to share all our personal stuff with everyone. This is not true. You need to stick with you close friends and family & limit the other peeps they are too distracting.
My H was also the world greatest Dad till this happened, now he doesnt call the girls every night he is away from them. He's lost his mind.
With regard to a lawyer. In Aug/Sept when my H wanted a legal document, I told him he could call my lawyer (my father). I told him it was unbearable for me to imagine not sleeping under the same roof as my girls every night that if he wanted to more forward with this I would not stop him but a neutral party would negiotate for me. I said I want to do what is right for our girls so whatever my father (we both have tons of respect for him) says is right for them I will agree to. I think I would have made it easier for my H if I negiotated the terms of our seperation directly him. I think it made it more real that he had to talk to a lawyer rather then to me in the kitchen. So far this has worked.
As much as it kills me to see our money blow out with window, dont make any decision based on $, make it based on saving your M. If your son was sick you wont care if it put you in the poor house.
Hang in there. Be positive. Hug your kid.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
