W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[workinghardguy]

but if this were the last day you would ever be with him, would you really sit him in front of the TV

Snowman... the term for this is child-centric. Listen to your S, he will tell you what he needs. He will need you and he will need his time too. But yes, work on it without S around.

And if you let yourself get into this mindset it really makes life better as a dad. This new mindset may be the greatest gift this whole mess has given me. Yesterday I had a list of "to do" items. Then that list got blown up because I discovered one of the kids left a crayon in their pockets and ruined about $400 of my clothes and their clothes. In the past my focus would've been on the money, replacing the clothes, salvaging the clothes. Everything else would've fallen off the table.

But... I had promised S we would go bowling. So I engaged his help in salvaging the clothes which was full of fun things (at least fun to a five year old) like stirring clothes in a sink of detergents, pulling clothes out sopping wet and getting water everywhere, mixing different solvents together, etc... In the past I would've freaked out at all the water he got everywhere, but now? Water can be mopped up. Messes can be cleaned. And then after that we still went bowling. The rest of the list didn't get done, but who cares... a dirty bathroom will still be dirty tomorrow and the world won't end.