I need to keep praying though and maybe will never stop this 24/7 connection to the divine. I really need patience for my W's sake and for my sake. On one hand we are at a place I never thought we would reach in the dark days of the bomb. On the other hand I still have my desires for the parts of our M that are still not there. We still live in separate rooms so there is a part of our m that is on hold. I work at finding strength for this around the clock. I cannot and will not pressure her to go at any other pace than what she can.
When you can truly see this as a gift.....The beauty of it all actually.
I wanted to comment on a couple things here.
That connection that you speak of, is built over time for her.
The reason for that is because with us "cavemen" We feel connection to our superior counterparts through the physical aspect of a relationship. To us, sex builds that connection for us emotionally.
For most women, they have to feel that emotional connection in order to want the physical part.
We have to not only appear to be that safe emotional place for them ...we have to be that place for them. They know the difference because they are so much more "in tune" with their emotions than we are.
Us guys ?
Throw us a rack of ribs and show a little leg, and we will follow them till we die.
That's just the nature of how we work. I always envisioned that the in terms of the difference between a Cat and a Dog.
That also ties in something that I saw you post on another thread. About the "fixer" role in most of us guys.
We tend to go overboard in terms of going in to protection mode. We see ( or hear) something that we know we are capable of fixing, and we go about in OUR terms.
Tying these two together. Most of the time, women just want to be heard, not fixed. Hearing them is what builds that connection.
I tend to ask now before I try to fix....
Is there anything I can do to help you ?
If the answer is no....then you know your answer.
If the answer is yes ?
Then I ask HOW I can help instead of taking over....
