Hi Ichrus, I wanted to touch on some things in your first post:
+ regarding the OM, some things mentioned above, another thing that is important to consider, is do not get into a competition with him for your W's attention.
What you are looking for is to become the best man you can be, which starts with looking inside yourself and considering some of the complaints that your W has about you. You'll need to filter the valid from the... not so valid... in the end, make changes in you that will help you become a better man. The more you can contribute to the world, the more attractive you will be to anyone. And that may also mean you become more attractive to your W.
+ while 180s can be very effective in regard to changing negative aspects of ourselves to positive ones, unfortunately becoming more attentive and affectionate to our spouses at this time is generally not a 180 that we use at this point.
Much of the "problem" can be that your W has changed her emotional attachment FROM you to someone else. By attempting to chase that, it ends up pursuing and can push your W further away. It can be more effective to continue to detach, GAL, and do 180s which may eventually create curiosity of you in your W, which may have her begin to slow down and look back at you and she may begin to pursue you...
+ you mention your W indicated lack of passion. This can be one of those tell tale signs that suggest a WAS has more emotional interest in someone else and not that there is a void of passion.
Most people recognize the difference between love and lust and explain lust as more of an initial, chemically induced attraction to someone. And people may explain this as passion or lack there of (ie. the "lust" for you has disappeared in your W).
This passion can be cultivated in a M, but it is not necessarily something that is persistent and ever present in an M. At this time, passion is probably not something to worry about at this time.
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You may have mentioned some things in your later posts which I will look at and others may further chime in with their own thoughts on your sitch.
In the mean time if you haven't thought of this stuff:
+ what are some things that you would like to change in yourself, that you feel are negative traits that you would like to get rid of?
+ what are some things about yourself that you would like to make better about yourself?
+ what are some GAL activities that you might get involved in, to help in your detachment and also to help you grow as an individual?
+ what are some of your W's complaints about you, that you could consider doing 180s on, because you agree they are things that you would like to change?
