Wow. Those quotes really got to me. I came by last night to post, but after reading those I broke down and cried. I think it was a good cry.

I'm not into politics, so I went to look up the video on Newt's wife, her latest interview that I had heard about. I watched the entire thing, and studied her as she was talking. I felt empathy for her, because I also have MS, and ... well, I guess I understand her feelings. BUT, I also saw her bitterness, and her need to continue feeling angry and hurt after all of these years. I could see the trap that she's kept herself in. She too, was also the OW, when he left his first wife during her cancer treatment, I don't really want to go there.

No, I don't want that for myself. This much I know. I don't want to be even a year down the road feeling angry. I *think* I'm starting to see that I'm going to be the one suffering most, if I continue to feel this way.

It's not like the ex OW cares about us, or what is going on.... she's continued on with her life, unscathed from this because she didn't like my H to begin with. H had built up a fantasy for her, and when it all came out... he found out that her only feelings for him were that of friendship.

Shouldn't this betrayal of his be easier to get over, since it was never a full blown affair, or PA?

Why should I be obsessed with looking at OW's blog and facebook? Seems ridiculous.

I feel like I'm torturing myself or something... but I don't know how to stop. I don't even know if I make sense here.

Yesterday was actually a GOOD day. I felt good.. I felt calm inside. I looked at H and did not feel anger. We cooked supper together, we put on music and he got silly and danced with our D. It was .... just everything good.

Afterwards, after d fell asleep, we sat up and watched some tv, then we had a good talk. He told me how much he wants me to let go of ow, and stop looking at her blog/facebook, because he does not care.... and does not want her in our lives, even by my looking at her. He is worried and upset about me.... and wants it to just stop.

And you see what I hated most is..... after having such a good day... and that closeness with H..... OW ended up back in the middle. Because of me.