Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

So last Sunday didn't happen, but she texted that day to tell me why. Her story was that she had a friend going through a bad divorce come and stay the weekend.

Sounds plausible.

So we made plans to get together Thursday and we did and ...

This has become a purely physical relationship. It's exactly the opposite of how life was with XW. I shouldn't complain. Several of my friends have met her and they say I'm really lucky and she's perfect for me ...

And I'm still not totally feeling it. I'm trying to figure out why. The conversation on the car ride home Thursday bothered me. Perhaps that's part of it.

A few posts ago I told you how she freaked out when I said if the X showed up and wanted to work things out I wouldn't slam the door in her face.

I tried to clarify that for her. I told her I don't want XW back, but I really want my daughters back and if XW showed up wanting to work things out I wouldn't slam that door right away because I'd be slamming the door on them.

She said after her first divorce her son chose to go live with his dad. And now her 14-year-old son has told her he's considering going to live with his dad, divorce No. 2.

She said she wouldn't have gone back to either ex husband just to get her sons back.

I did not respond. In my head, I was thinking that these weren't similar circumstances. She says both of her exes were alcoholics who beat her and cheated on her.

My ex is none of those things. She's just a depressed person who is constantly searching for the magic thing to make her happy.

Anyway, the other thing that bothered me was when she asked me if I'd told XW that we were dating. I haven't. She hadn't told her ex either, but her 14-year-old son did. She said she feels like I've been "hiding" it from XW.

We've only been out five times in slightly over a month. I've been waiting to see if it'll last. But I didn't say that. I told her, truthfully, that I was waiting until the right time.

I have hockey tickets for Feb. 26 and she's supposed to bring her 14-year-old son. I didn't tell her that XW's best friend has season hockey tickets very near where we'll be sitting so it's highly, highly likely that if we go together we'll be spotted and the reports will get back to XW.

I told her my thought was that D12 has a play the first two weekends of March and my plan was to tell XW then that I'd be bringing someone to the play.

At that point, we'll have been going out for three months -- if it lasts.

I'm torn. Part of me wants to just get out of this now. Another part says I'm trying to find someone "too perfect" and not looking at this objectively. There's a lot more right here than wrong and I should give it a chance.

Things with D12 and D9 were great this weekend. It was a really good weekend. Of course, D12 wasn't with me much on Saturday. She had theater rehearsal and then went to a movie with theater friends. Still, it was a good weekend.

Tough times at work. The company that owns our newspaper is consolidating another department. So 12 co-workers are going to have to reapply for their jobs and those jobs will be 90 minutes away.

I'm losing six really good friends. So Thursday morning I went to talk to the leader of an MBA program. It'll cost $20,000, but I really have to improve my resume for when the train comes again and I'm standing on the tracks.

I texted XW to ask if she'd be open to switching week nights somewhere down the road if it conflicts with my class schedule.

Her first response was a question? "How are you paying for this?"

I didn't respond. I'm going to put myself $20k in debt -- again -- in the hopes it pays off over the next 25 years.

So, as usual, there's lots going on here.