W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[25yearsmlc]

25yearsmlc-I'm not relieved by this at all and I will not stop my work on how I contributed to this. I truly want to become a better me. I don't want to take my bad things into my future relationships.

that's wise


I'm not making this decision out or pride, anger, or frustration.

I said to "make sure" you are not...and I'm glad you checked that.


I'm making it because this is what my W wants and I love her. I'm not going to fight some legal battle to stall the divorce. We have always decided in this that we would not drag this through the courts or anything else


that^^ was Not clear to me. I thought you did not want the divorce. I understand you have been fighting for 2 years, and nothing improved and sounds as if nothing new was tried...or changed...

But DBing is relatively new to you...and it's a simple but radically different approach to marital problems. It's not about the past or the baggage, but how to fix things "from this day forward." it's solution based therapeutic approach to problems you have NOW.

My h and I had seen 4 mc's...literally, before DBing began on my end. ALL of them told me h was "acting single/selfish" "as if he had no family to consider" "as if he wanted ME to file", etc.

H said I had "brainwashed all of them" b/c I am a L and speak persuasively. He refused to go anymore so it did me NO good to have them all agree with me.

NOT One told me what to do or how to improve things...it was all about being "stuck with a selfish h" like I was RIGHT BUT POWERLESS...


then I got into DBing and found a pro=m mc and I CHANGED...and then WE changed...

NOT saying it works for all. It does not.


so the only task left at hand is to have my L review/change what I would like and give her the signed final papers, other than that it could only get into a ugly L battle.

I have been humbled more then I could ever explain and I have spent more time on my knees praying than ever before.

I accept that this^^^ has happened to you and it's a very painful experience. However, it CAN lead to an incredible transformation...


Please do paint the picture like I'm giving it, that bothers me.


Not sure what that^^^ sentence means. I pose questions to you, and or I tell you how something you wrote strikes me.


What would you have me do at this point, not sign anything and force her to use her L to make me sign it and take all that I have away as well as my S? I will not take that route.

never EVER suggested that^^^. I oppose using the legal system to punish....

Nor do I think that's the only option you have. But since you sound resolute, I'll drop it.


I will continue to work on me as I said before. I know my work or journey is not done.

That's true of most of us. But you struck me and a few others in a similar way. Try not to blow it off b/c it annoys you; try hard to use it FOR your growth. We're not professionals.

But we see things and tell it like we see it HERE, from what YOU, the poster here posting, writes to us...that's all we can do.

I still think I should probably write the letter that Kaffe mentioned and it will truly be as if it is my true last communication with my W. What do you think?

Can't see how it would hurt. But I don't know the contents of the letter so I'm going by my assumption that KD is suggesting a constructive tone and content.

Crimson wrote one to his w and they are now going to see a mc to "process" it. So it sure didn't hurt his cause.


Good luck