You are not alone! There are many people here who are in your situation now or have been in your shoes. I am a member of the former group. The entire process is such a roller coaster ride. On top of that, the thoughts pounding around in your head can make you crazy. Several wise posters have recommended detaching and disconnecting your happiness from some action or inaction of your S. I cannot speak to anyone else's experience but my own but, for me, allowing my WAS to dictate my happiness has caused me nothing but unhappiness. At the same time, because I want to be with my WAS and want my M to work, I struggle to let go and backslide regularly. It is scary struggle to let go of something that you want to hold onto so desperately, especially with little ones involved. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. God speed.
