Hello All, not sure if I am doing this correctly as I am not much of a computer person but I have attempted to post a link to my previous thread here. There you will find my LBH story and, thanks to a lot of caring members of this forum, much great advice and feedback.
Here is the latest: Boss offered me the promotion. W was very enthusiastic and questioned my lack of enthusiasm when I told her about it. I backslid and said I was very happy for making it happen and it was great for me professionally, but it was also bittersweet because our family is in turmoil and we couldn't celebrate it as H & W. (This should've been one of the biggest days of my life! FYI, Boss doesn't know W has filed. Not sure if that will make any impact on the things when he finds out.) W asked for some time last week to think about things in advance of going to court in two weeks for our temporary arrangements hearing. She said that I had given her a lot to think about when discussing the promotion.
We talked last night and she told me she believes she is divorcing the man I was and not the man I am. She believes I have changed into a better husband and father. She said that had I acted the way I am acting now 12 months ago, she would not have filed. She believes my changes are not too little but too late. She says that if I really loved her that I would have made the changes earlier and not disappointed her so many times and that it wouldn't have taken filing for D to wake me up. She is not interested in marital counseling. She says there is no OM. She says she doesn't have the same feelings for me as a husband. She says she doesn't want to lose any more of her life to a bad M and does not want to take a chance on me. She doesn't want to delay the D.
Many seasoned members of the forum have advised not to believe what you hear from a WAW and less than half of what you see. To me it's very confusing because W, on her own, is bringing up my changes and saying that she wouldn't have filed 12 months ago against the man I am now and that I am showing her love by acting the way I am acting, but she is still going forward with the D even though I am not that man. I am going to continue with my 180s for me but, truth be told, I feel like I am losing hope that we can avoid D and that makes me very, very sad.
