Living in the trenches....Thread #5

[25yearsmlc]

Gosh Navy

I've been a fan of yours the whole time. But she's putting in WHAT effort?

where is the progress? She said she and the kids were learning Russian and she misses THEM...she left out any reference to her missing you...(seemed pointed to me)

She is she still cold to you? Sounds as if she has a loaded gun with her hand on the trigger for the slightest infractions she THINKS you commit...and you apologized-twice- for having facial expressions she didn't like???

so

how are YOUR needs in this marriage being met?

As an LBSer for 2 years, I KNOW mine were not met by a long shot for a long time. I am not saying to quit!! I'm saying is this really working so hot?...a year later?

Though I grew in my two years apart (and I had a goal in mind--d's graduation from high school was my "internal timeline", I was not simply waiting that long-I had a reason)

But I had a lot of signs of progress along the way too--and my h never actually said he wanted a divorce (just was content to force us to move 3000 miles away or he would--and did--alone)

but he always wanted to ML...never pushed me out of the bed, let alone for months. Always acted as if all was well (kind of weird at times too...like he was gaslighting me, you know?)

your w seems to relive her "traumas" (b/c I honestly don't know how many, if any, belong to YOU)


and boy does she stay stuck!....and then YOU stay stuck. You want to put her through law school like this? And then what?


What are YOUR 180s and GAL?

Guess I MIGHT ask her what progress she was referring to, b/c I don't see it. Do you really? I'm being sincere.

That she shares a bed with you? Wouldn't not sharing it be more awkward for HER?

Sorry if I"m missing the great news here b/c others say they see it so I could be way off...truly I am.

I just don't want to see a man like you settling for mistreatment this long.
WHEN it's possible you could get her back for real, with a different approach.

If she feared losing you....I think she'd change her tune.

In sum, do you feel your approach is working enough that you see the light at the end of the tunnel?

hang in there Navy man!!