I'm finding that detachment, and making sure not to mind read is as much a constant challenge when the R is on a possible upswing, as much as when it was being bombed.
I pray for strength around the clock!
good for you Rick. And at times I prayed hourly, out loud if I could...somehow thinking it, saying it and hearing it, helped it sink in. I had about 5 "mantras" to help me stay calm, including a simple
"turning it over to God" one that probably helped me the most.
Funny but I didn't think my 2 x 4 was THAT blunt....but I am direct. And it is what helped ME the most b/c when I was in your shoes,
(not exactly, I know)
I was so angry that my anger consumed ME...and hurt my r's with the kids, who deserved better. There were some posters here who snapped me out of it with direct wording that I mostly responded to.
It's what helped ME more than others agreeing that my h was being selfish (Which was also what the first 3 mc's we saw, said. True, they validated my feelings but did nothing to help our problems).
That's why I love this solution based approach...
Learning how to let go of anger, and let go of things I can't control in general
was a breakthrough for me and my life.
Learning to forgive (which I NEVER saw my parents do til my dad was dying)
was also a learned skill. And a process that follows a series of choices to forgive...
I wish you the best, but know that "piecing" is -as Jack3beans says,- a "life long process"...
(( ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
