I like everything 25 posted above. My initial thought when I read your questions was, "If your W cries or gets angry, it's the job of the counselor to manage that and your job to listen unless asked a question."
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
1) thank God she's not indifferent, b/c it means at some level, she still cares...
I wanted to touch on the above because it can be difficult in some situations.
When a spouse is on the roller coaster and sharing their feelings (either overtly or unintentionally), we know they are not indifferent. Even if that indifference is not directed specifically at the sitch.
In some instances, it's very hard to tell if a spouse is indifferent. My W very rarely shows any type of emotion other than that of normal engagement.
The most recent was her indication that she would not (could not; possibly intended to be interpreted as could not afford) want to pay to to file the D papers, now that the SA is completed. She closed by saying, "We'll have to think about it."
I can't mind read so I have no idea how indifferent she really is. What I can be sure about, though... is a person who wants to D would not complain about the cost of filing to their spouse as though it is some impossible hurdle, but would rather say nothing and simply plan to get the money together and file once the resources are available.
As in purgatory's thread where she indicates looking for the small (1%) positives... if my W really was indifferent and had no negative emotional investment in D, she could find the money to afford to D.
So, Crimson... consider yourself lucky and look for the positive IF your W is emotional during the counseling session...
