W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[25yearsmlc]

I have 2 family members who finished their m's...they divorced...

only to remarry a few years later, so it happens.

(They say it was better the 2nd time around & I believe them. My uncle died a few years ago, but his w and children were at his bedside at the moment of death, expressing their love for him, b/c of the reconciliation.

Otherwise I fear, he'd have died alone.)

And in the state of California, a third of divorces that get filed, are never completed. So leave her to her task so she can take a breath and look at where she is, without the pressure of your needs.

I hope you won't give up so fast and please don't refuse to dig deep.


I am left with the sense that you are relieved by this. It's as if you no longer have to wonder about what YOU did to contribute to this--that bothers me--

and now you think the few minor changes you might make, will suffice, or you'll "just pick better" next time.

But it does not work that way.

Most divorced people do NOT learn what they should or could have learned from their first marriage's failure.

That's why the divorce rate is higher for 2nd m's....

Be different. Be smarter, and braver than those people...or you'll be hurt again.

Hey-if you want to give up, so be it. We all have our limits.

But make sure it's a choice you are making - not out of pride or anger...or even frustration,

but honest reflection, and a profoundly deep understanding of how you got here, and humility.

And in case you don't know it,

I am very sorry for your pain Snowman...