Thanks very much for your comments, onyourside2. They make sense.
I have reached out to my stbxw again and sent her a message about changing her mind and coming back home. I believe we have great deal going for us and can work through this with the help of a good counselor. Just last week and admitted "when it was good it was very good" and she does seem confused at times. However, she insists the separation is something she has to do to get some space and figure things out on her own, which include how she feels about our future together and if her career is more important than the marriage. In a sense, I feel it is already over. We have been more like roommates than a married couple during the past couple of years, despite some very bright spots in the past year - which is the evidence (to me) that we are more than friends.
This is what makes it all so painful. I want her back as much as I realize it has not been a very healthy or happy past two years. But when I think about the reasons, they are all things than can be worked out with a marriage counselor.
I suppose time will tell. Until then, all I can do is focus on myself - for me, not in false hope there is a future for us as a couple. I miss her dearly, and while I am not focused on the past, I have learned enough from it ti make better decisions for the future. As Michele stated in a video, I am in training to become a better husband to someone else in the future. I hope she turns out to be my stbxw. Time will tell.
