if I could only find a way to get my W to understand this is my goal
But that's the problem isn't it? It's OUR goal as in our own personal goal, not "OUR" goal as in the collective of husband and wife.
I believe the WAS has to get to a point where trying a new R/M with us is the best available option for them. Better than being single, better than the OM/OW, better than moving through a sequence of guys/gals trying to find the "right" one.
If there is one thing we have going for us is that, at some point in time, we were the "right one". So at least we have that...
This was really, really well put!
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
Told W that I would not be eating dinner at home tonight. She gave me a long look? Left home at 8am to get gas go to church and have enough time to type this before service. Did not say were I would be all day. Going to bros house as a friend is going back to LA.
Had it not been for this site and me not wanting I would have been having As. Cheating comes natural to man in my family. I mean what better excuse does some one have than your W sleeps on the couch for 7 months? But instead I have done the total opposite. Go to church IC and have confessed to all my weaknesses. Go figure.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Had it not been for this site and me not wanting I would have been having As. Cheating comes natural to man in my family. I mean what better excuse does some one have than your W sleeps on the couch for 7 months? But instead I have done the total opposite. Go to church IC and have confessed to all my weaknesses. Go figure.
Do you think having affairs would have done you some good? That cheating comes natural to men in your family doesn't make it OK. Your wife sleeping on the couch for 7 months still isn't an excuse for cheating. Granted, a lot of people in those situations would have...that doesn't make it right. Going to church and seeing a counselor speaks of your strength and goodness. Not much to figure out on that!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Has cheating really been a temptation for you in the midst of all this! I never even considered doing something like that. I was really concerned with trying to make things better within myself...cheating would have been the worst thing I could have done.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
It is something we were thought to do when having R problems. I would not do it or want to but I have to acknowledge it. My father used to tell us that real man always had2. I never agreed to that and neither has my brother.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Always good to hear the voice of reason. I have been given the green light by my H to date. Maybe he hopes I will find someone else and move on. I went out yard sale hopping with a man friend. It just made me uncomfortable.
I don't plan on dating for awhile. Despite how lonely I am and yes, women miss sex too!
Hope you all have a nice day!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
