My thoughts....if a LBS decides its over then you close all the doors to the past ... but if you want to reconcile then I think you have to leave all avenues for the WAS to come home. Even if an A has happened....you either want to fix the M or not. If you do the you must allow for all opportunity for it to work, as tough as it is.
What sukks is how tough it is on us and so much is in limbo in the meantime. I guess you have to look at this in the context of you are doing soul level work here...for yourself....for sacred marriage vows...for you children's well being and as an example of altruism for them...for love in the world. That doesn't mean you won't feel stabs of real pain but how else does our spirit and souls evolve? DB is a form of the deepest soul level work you will ever do and perhaps one of the greatest acts of love you will ever give.
