Our story

[kolja]

Hey jb, thanks. That's certainly what I was going for.

Today, predictably she raged a bit. Eventually though, after an especially hateful text (which, knowing the place she's in right now, I didn't take personally even though I DO admit I was a bit taken aback) to which I didn't reply, she ALMOST backtracked. "OK, maybe that wasn't the nicest thing to say..."

On her own, she kind of led the conversation back to where we were a year ago, where with 20/20 hindsight I can see the wheels starting to come off. I got to use some of the more helpful expressions I've seen here - "Given the chance there's lots of things I would do differently" and "I'm sorry you feel that way, it's not how I remember things."

Of course that last one suggests that we in fact remember things very differently at the present. She decided I was making things up, and decided she was done talking to me - but it was certainly an improvement over where the conversation had been at ONE point in the afternoon.

Her family, who as I've said have reached out to me, were supportive. Her mother is even more convinced that I am that depression plays a role, one of the first things she asked me was if my wife had been put on any medication. Her mother also said she thought I should have cut her off a while ago.

Right now, as angry as she is at having the ATM turned off, I don't think she's interested in seeing changes. And even after the anger subsides, I DO have to wonder about how much opportunity there will be for her to see them. But, all I can do is all I can do - make the most of whatever opportunities I get.