Together since we were 15...Part 2

[Jenna333]

I have no idea HOW to date. I have no idea where/how to meet quality people. I've gone out a couple of times since he left and all I came across were sleazeballs looking for one nighters. I would not even flirt in a situation like that. I am not that kind of girl.

Truthfully I've never dated, unless you count when I was 15ish and our parents had to drive us places. Ha! I met my ex when I was 14 and we were good friends for a year before we became a couple. We never dated. We just decided we had a special connection and to see where it took us. As far as serious relationships go, he's all I've experienced. As far as ANY relationships go, serious or not, I'm all he's experienced.

The kids and I just got home from seeing Beauty and the Beast 3D. Wow, $29 just for tickets for the kids and I! Ridiculous. They were pretty fidgety and a little bored because they've seen the movie a bunch of times. Not sure it was worth the money. Especially since I got my first parking ticket. I got to my car about 10 minutes after the meter expired. Only a $20 ticket, but still. That's a bummer. Of course I kept thinking of him throughout the dang movie. He used to compare us to Belle and the beast. I'm a petite brunette and he's broad-shouldered and 6'4". He actually just made the comparison yesterday, now that I think about it.

When we got out of the movie I saw that he had called and left a message. The voicemail said he was just about to walk into work and wanted to say hi to the kids. I had my D call him and both kids talked to him for a minute. He then asked to talk to me. He said he hoped our weekend was going well, and he said he'd call them tomorrow sometime. That made me happy. Whenever he's gone a day or two without seeing the kids before, he hasn't called them. It's always bothered me. A couple of times he softly said he hoped I was having a good weekend. I just brightly said yep, I am, thanks! It's been a bit of a stressful weekend, actually. I need to really clean this house and start packing. I also have homework to do. I miss him being here and helping with the kids. I miss doing family things together. I miss our connection. Just talking to him. Cuddling with him. Watching movies together. When I start feeling this way, I pretty much chant to myself, "He chose this, not me. This is what he wants and there's nothing I can do about it except to become the best person that I can be, and that is what I'm doing. I'm making the best of this life. I am strong, funny, capable, love myself, and I'm worth fighting for."