waiting for the tides to change

[purgatory]

Phone thing- I wouldn't consider backsliding. I think men in general like to feel needed and helpful. But if you've always played the damsel in distress- what would be your 180? However, in this sitch, I don't think there's any harm done by asking him for advice- you didn't come out and say: "fix it for me!" (like a little kid). That's the difference.

As far as the school stuff, here's what I do. I put all paper notices, on the fridge in plain sight- H still comes over 2x a week so he sees them (and S6 usually talks about them anyways.) The other thing I do for days off from school, special class events and generally anything to do with the kids- put on my calendar on my phone. I have an iphone- I have the option of sending and 'invite' for these events- I'll click on this for H, and they get sent to him in the form of emails. He doesn't normally respond, but he can't ever claim that I kept things from him nor that he didn't know (since there's an electronic paper trail from my phone to his email, it protects me from him saying that I leave him out of the school life.) If S6 ever gets a note home from the teacher for behavior- I'll take a picture of it and send it to H with a short explanation. H has been really good about calling S6 later (if he wasn't scheduled to see him) and talking to him about the note.

Just what's worked for us, maybe you can modify some of that to work for you