Too Little, Too late 3

[25yearsmlc]

you could ask h, via text, how her kid is doing. Or ask the Godchild.

As for what you told your h, it's not the content so much as the tone.

I think if you'd said' "wow that sure looks like you're putting her kids above yours" that MIGHT have worked---

except your kids were only having breakfast with him, and her kids had a higher need and one was sick. Where the heck is HER ex h??

(Do you still believe she was "abused"??)

So in a way, you may have looked unreasonable, Not him.

I'm NOT sure your answer about not wanting him now anyhow, was so bad.

In that moment, it's how you felt. Don't keep apologizing or at least not more than once...and remind him that this is all VERY NEW & RAW for you...

unlike him, you have not had weeks or months of pondering internally,

AND

you were under the mistaken belief she was YOUR bff

and HE was YOUR h...

so he's going to have to bare with you as you learn to create a new, happy and fulfilling life for yourself--which you WILL DO---and have begun--

and face a health challenge as well.

(I would NOT mention that health issue ever, unless you have a real need for help and ONLY he can be there for you.

Seriously, let him stew in the fact that as you face it, you ask nothing of him...

he's not a monster yet. He'll squirm...same goes for her if she has any decency left in her)...and if not, what's the point of sharing it with either of them?

Don't seek pity b/c it's very close to contempt. Many LBSers don't get that.

I feel for the Godchild, but if they vilify YOU, you will be blamed for the pain and "not accepting that the marriage was over and THEN they decided to date"

which is the story they'll put out there.


By being the calm uber zen Purg you are becoming, that will be harder to keep telling themselves...oh and don't forget, SHE HAS FLAWS and they'll start to show soon...is she a perfect mother? Thought not...

and as for your Mother Teresa progress, hey it's not linear growth.

we all take 2 steps forward, or 5, and then a few backwards...

but on the whole, there IS progress...and you're getting there.

Get yourself to that wacky workshop I told you about. I swear to God you will be levels higher in your happiness and contentment and your road to life, will be clearer to you.

Stay on your "Campaign message" and give yourself the pep talks we'd all need in your shoes. You would not believe the playlists I had on my Ipod...my "optimistic future w/new OM" playlist...which always made my workouts better

or my "optimistic w/H" workouts which got hard to do at times...but easy to run harder b/c I was mad...

the grief playlists if I wanted to wallow b/c I tended to tire myself of it and snap out of it faster IN TIME

or my "happy single mama", travelling around and living where SHE wants to live- for the first time in decades, (so long Army!!!)

(((( ))))