I agree, don't beat yourself up. It's so hard to watch H be a jerk and act selfish and childish. We get especially sensitive and protective when it comes to our kids. I'm glad you have a few days before you see H again. It gives you a chance to calm down and hopefully it gives your H a chance to realize that the way he acted was wrong (though don't count on it).
It must be so hard for OW's D16 to deal with this. Does she know what's going on? I can't even imagine how you must feel about your R with OW's kids. They are innocent, too, yet have to be victims of your H and OW's selfish choices.
