Together since we were 15...Part 2

[Jenna333]

I had a dream about him being super happy with a pretty 19 year old I hate dreaming since he left.

Yesterday when he mentioned other guys, he asked me if it felt weird to be hit on. I said yeah, especially since I'm not completely closed off to it like I was while we were together. His face fell. He said, "So if someone hits on you, you could think 'Hey, he's actually cute' and be interested? That's great :(" I just don't understand. Why ask that question? Does he expect me to not be open to other people? If he's open to seeing what else is out there, so am I. At first I wasn't going to answer him. I told him he shouldn't be asking me things like that and told him it will only hurt him. He told me to just please answer. And of course the answer hurt him. I don't ask him questions like that anymore. I know that it only hurts me, and I don't need the extra hurt.

I believe we'll always be able to be friends because we get along so well, so that will be good for the kids. BUT I guess I can't say that yet. We haven't started seeing others yet. It's obvious he will be very hurt when it happens for me and of course I'll be hurt when it happens for him I hate going there in my mind. I'm there now because of the dream. In the dream he was happy with her, but he would sneak over to me and cuddle me and kiss me. That is not how it will be IRL. I will not be waiting for him on the sidelines.