Shouldn't you be OKAY to express yourself (within reason) when your H is being a D-head? Which he is. I think you have every right.

The fact that he can't see that putting her kids over his own is wrong all by himself sickens me.

You shouldn't have even HAD to tell him that.

The point is... what would have been better, for you to pretend that it's okay?

He said the jealousy stuff to deflect the guilt off him and to put it on you. But he is acting like a child.