It is okay. It is so okay. Its really hard what we are doing and to act calm when there is hurricane katrina at the door is so so hard. Your reaction was normal. Any mother/woman/wife would react as you did.
Now you just have to act calm. You have all day today, tomorrow, next week and the future to be calm and you can do it even through this hurricane.
Dont beat yourself up. Beating yourself up is the old way. You did it its over now move on and be chill. Be the new Purg and dont worry about it.
Even recognizing that you over reacted is a huge step in the right direction.
PS Why do you even want John Edwards?? What a jerk! Hang in there for your kids and for her kids, they all deserve better.
LOVE YOU!!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13