I don't know what to tell you about the gift. My son, the potter, takes pots he thinks aren't perfect and throws them at a rock wall behind our house. I get really mad about that because my friends would love his "imperfect" pots! But when you said pottery, I could see an instance where the rock wall smashing might feel good.....
Okay, really, why not give it to her? Because you might come across as trying to manipulate? Because no matter what you do it will be wrong?
Will her girls remember that they painted it with you? Will they ask where it is? I have a rule about not letting little kids down. Any promise I make to a little kid I KEEP!
So I guess that is my 2 cents worth!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
maybe ask your goddaughter if she would like to give it to her mom seeing as they helped paint it? i don't know if there's a right or wrong answer. just whatever you're comfortable with. if you prefer to get rid of it.. no one can fault you.. if you decide to give it to her because of the girls.. it's not wrong either. hahaha.. can i be more vague??
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
This morning was supposed to be our first 'family' breakfast time. H called early to tell me that he had to cancel because OW youngest was going to the doctor and at the same tim, D16 had an interview for a special art school..... He was canceling so he could take D16 to the interview. I offered for me to take her so he could still see the boys (and I ahven't seen D16 in over 3 weeks).... but I guess that offer was never expressed/ or denied by OW because she called another friend to take D16. [I KNEW that there were other options for her, but OW first and only options was to call H to solve the problem even though she knew that he alrteady had plans with his kids!]
I lost it. I didn't yell, but I said: "no way, no how. I won't let you put someone else's kids above yours"
It went downhill from there and he said he completly disagreed with me and he didn't understand why our breakfast couldn't just be moved to Sunday.
I have never experienced so much hurt/anger at one time!
H 'gave in' (his words) and came over, but he is miserable. He said I'm acting out of jealousy and I said: "no. I don't want you anymore. You are no the man I fell in love with 10 years ago, I don't know who you are. I don't want you so how can I be jealous?" (def not my best moment. I totally let all DB knowledge out the window)
I came back later and said I handled the sitch wrong and I wish it hadn't come to this- because now everyone is miserable.
HOW DO I FIX THIS??!!!! I COMEPLETLY BLEW A CHANCE TO ACT CALM!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
It is okay. It is so okay. Its really hard what we are doing and to act calm when there is hurricane katrina at the door is so so hard. Your reaction was normal. Any mother/woman/wife would react as you did.
Now you just have to act calm. You have all day today, tomorrow, next week and the future to be calm and you can do it even through this hurricane.
Dont beat yourself up. Beating yourself up is the old way. You did it its over now move on and be chill. Be the new Purg and dont worry about it.
Even recognizing that you over reacted is a huge step in the right direction.
PS Why do you even want John Edwards?? What a jerk! Hang in there for your kids and for her kids, they all deserve better.
LOVE YOU!!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
You know, each time he does these 'alien' things, it makes it easier to detach. Bklyn, I've been having the 'why do I want him' thoughts a lot. I can say that I don't want *this* man, but the man that I know he can be.... But who's to say that the one I know will ever come back?
I called D16 to wish her luck, and she cried saying how she missed me and loved me- that was really hard! I told her how much I wish I could be with her today (yet another heartbreak caused by H and OW!)
I need to have a civil R with him as we move on into coparenting for the next 18ish years, so it's important that we don't burn any bridges. I think the fact that this is all still so fresh for me, is why I still long for our M. Who knows when that will change.
Thank you all for coming to my rescue this morning! These are the times I really wish some of y'all were just a phone call away instead of waiting for online responses.... But I'll take it!!
We aren't supposed to see H until Wednesday, that's what I have to plan for... Even though he says he'll come by before then- we'll see
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I agree, don't beat yourself up. It's so hard to watch H be a jerk and act selfish and childish. We get especially sensitive and protective when it comes to our kids. I'm glad you have a few days before you see H again. It gives you a chance to calm down and hopefully it gives your H a chance to realize that the way he acted was wrong (though don't count on it).
It must be so hard for OW's D16 to deal with this. Does she know what's going on? I can't even imagine how you must feel about your R with OW's kids. They are innocent, too, yet have to be victims of your H and OW's selfish choices.
