My XH never stopped calling me on the phone during our separation, divorce and even post-divorce. Usually he was sober and would talk to me for long periods of time, saying he always loved me and regretted the sorry choices he made by walking out.
Then, there were the other phone calls when he was drunk and he would yell at me about everything from being unhappy for 20 years to never loving me.
The harrassing calls always ended abruptly with him hanging up, usually after I said something that blew a hole in his tirade.
He would ALWAYS call back within minutes to tell me I was the love of his life and would I drive down to his (new) house and join him in the hot tub? (Of course I never did).
Those conflicting phone calls were driving me crazy until I finally caught on to what was happening and later confirmed by my sister-in-law. Apparently, the OW was his audience during the drunken phone calls. She was listening in to our conversations. The OW knew that XH was calling me often. She pressured him to make these calls to appease her jealousy.
XH was weak to let the OW dictate his actions. But, really not surprising since he played a passive role during our 20 year marriage, too.
I'm glad to say that those roller-coaster phone calls are a thing of the past. XH still calls me on occasion, but he is always sober, he's always sorry for what he did and, of course, he will always love me.
I listen to him, smile, and feel relief that the crazy ride is over.
