Together since we were 15...Part 2

[purgatory]

Try not to play the tennis match in your head (he wants me, he doesn't, he wants me...) you'll give yourself a major headache!!!

(Not that I do this) but, everyone says to not have any expectations. That anytime you see a positive interaction from H, don't assume it means anything (as you've experienced with ML sessions) It keeps you from getting heartbroken, and stops the back and forth in your head.

Like I said, I could write you a manuel of what we *should* be doing through this process.... putting into action takes a lot more strength, patience, bitting my tongue, and unconditional love that I ever thought I had.

To answer your questions above ('better off without him?'): It's crossed my mind lately- I think mostly inspired by OW. I keep reminding myself, that *this* H is in crisis (almost like being on drugs) and therefore is not acting/being the man that I really know him to be. I don't want THIS one back. If he never came out of crisis, I don't think I would want him back (but I can't even commit entirely to that statement). We have too much history, family, and shared loved to close that off so soon (almost 2 months) after the bomb. For now, I'm standing for my M, and for the man that I know he really is- the one behind the crisis fog.