The not so Waste Land

[Harrier]

Pretty stoked that the Broncos won. I've been a Denver fan all my life.

No one gave them a chance. But you never know what will happen.

[2thepoint]

Well there you go then. Something to celebrate!

[Sad_but_happy]

So that's why you and I always but heads... I'm from Boston.

I'd wish you luck Saturday, but that would be sacrilegious!

[Still learning]

Hi Harrier. Hope things are better. Seems like a lot of up and down. Is this "normal" for your w? I'm following from the other side of the world, on a poor Internet connection. But I was really happy for you that you had a good Christmas with the family.

[Harrier]

So that's why you and I always but heads... I'm from Boston.

I'd wish you luck Saturday, but that would be sacrilegious!

ugggh. I live in the land of the Patriots now...well 1/2, the other 1/2 are Giants fans.

I hope they take down the might Pats. Other than the Patriots and Red Sox...I love Boston.

[2thepoint]

Hey Harrier, checking into see how you are doing. Any new developments. Hope all is well!

[Harrier]

Well, this is my last week in the condo I'm living. I will move back home next weekend.

My mind is racing about this. I mean on one hand - she claims the main motivation is financial. I can see that part of it. But she did propose it and said that she will be glad to have me move back.

I am looking forward to being around my kids more although I think they came through this separation relatively unscathed. A huge bonus to it was that our youngest got over this tendency to be a momma's boy and learn to come to me a lot more.

The weekend was pretty routine for us. All good interactions for the most part. She asked me a couple times about the move back and stuff.

Here's the rub though. As it stands now there is nothing to suggest that she is moving forward on anything. No physical interactions and not really even spend any time alone together. No mention of it either.

I assume the sleeping arrangements will be separate rooms. But no real mention of it.

I want to give her time to work through things, but then again I have my needs as well. so far, I don't have much resentment or anger toward her for the lack of any movement. (I used to feel it a lot). I've done a great job of detaching this last month. I'm not reading much into the small things she does on a daily basis. I've also increased my running - my GAL.

I don't know where this goes from here.

[Sad_but_happy]

Been a long hard road Harrier. I wish you luck.

For me and my sitch, I've lived without love for far too long. No real affection, no hearing "I love you".

So I am drafting a seperation agreement and leaving. And last night when I told her, she was crying and begging and wanting me to stay.

But my sitch is more complex than most. I truly wave been mistreated for many many years (not including her EA).

And in my heart I am dying at her sadness. I hate to hurt her. Is it love or just plain human empathy?

Who knows...

All I know is I need to move forward.

I'm glad to hear that you are moving back in. If that's what you want than I'm happy for you.

A relationship takes two. Needs need to be met for both. Since my W EA (and before) my needs have not been met as all.

And so now I'm leaving!!!

I hope your W realizes that people need to feel loved by the people that are supposed to love them.

Before it's too late.

Good luck my friend!

[~ kd ~]

Harrier, you are a brave man moving back in "for financial reasons". Aside from the actual functionality of sleeping arrangements, etc... what are your intentions or how will this affect your DB efforts, do you think? What are some little goals? How might you handle your W going on a date, or if you go on a date...? Or have a "friend" over...

It sounds like you'll be room mates... but I scrinch my face thinking that's certainly not quite the case...

And sorry for the hijack here...

HEY SBH, so you gave your W the ILYBINILWY bomb? How does that change your perspective of being the LBS to that of being the WAS? Where's your thread...?

[Sad_but_happy]

Honestly Kaffe... It hurts like crazy... I'm not the WAS that is indifferent, uncaring and bitter. I'm the WAS that wished to God it would have been great.

I tried like heck. Did all the loving things, GAL, everything.

Her EA was in Oct. 2010 and in Nov. 2011 she told me she still thinks of him, wasn't sure about us and asked me to give her space.

Add to that no real affection from her, no LL given. No real appreciation for what I do for her.

And that was it for me... I've pulled away...

But I am morning the loss of my family and the pain for me is still deep.

Sorry for the Hijack Harrier. I'll start a thread at some point soon.