Together since we were 15...Part 2

[purgatory]

LOL!! Yes, I would love to know that my medical personal is a MAJOR chain smoker!!

To answer your questions:
No, H has not mentioned that there is a future for us. In fact, he continuously says: "I don't want to do things that give you the wrong impression, as if there's some chance for us to be together again." People on here have told me- that the fact he feels the need to repeat that statement (as if I'm deaf) is to convince himself.. .so in some strange way, I'm glad he still says it. It's when he stops 'convincing' himself that I have to worry.

H has also mentioned me dating others, and he goes back and forth. For the most part, he's always said that he knows he'll "have to get used to the idea, but it's part of the process." Yet when he *does* say something about a potential boyfriend, he refers to him as a 'douchebag' i.e.: "I'll want to meet this douchebag before he comes around my kids." I flat out asked him once, if he *wanted* me to date so he wouldn't feel guilty about him dating.... he couldn't give me a straight answer.

I wish my H was conflicted like yours (sorta)- I see the confusion and frustrations that his actions bring onto you, wouldn't want to deal with that. At least my H's words match his actions (most of the time.) Yet, it really hurts to know that he has shut down that part of his heart to me and he's comfortable moving on with out me.

Everyone here says you shouldn't believe what they say and only about 50% of what they do... well, mine is saying he's done, and he taking actions towards dating someone else- what am I supposed to believe?

How much of that is truth, how much is 'convincing'?? I wish I knew.

(I just realized that I hijacked your post to talk about my sitch, sorry.)