I just don't see how rushing around to find a place, you don't have a place. The "landlord" w/benefits gave you notice. He said you can stay til ay and that helps him...You MUST find a place anyhow...unless he sweeps you off your feet AND you decide to stay there or move with him...is that your hope? Why else would you Not look for another place?
I am looking for another place. Taking my time and looking at buying instead now And I DO have a place. I was the one who told him I was going to leave. It was one of many times I threatened to walk out. He finally just said FINE GO.
going into debt, you are already in debt for a wedding you are paying for...how HE gets off scot free, I don't know...sounds like a cad to me.
No, I have the wedding on a payment plan. I have zero debt right now. If I have to shell out to move pronto, I won't be able to make ALL the payments, and would go into debt
putting our dog in a kennel
it's HIS dog, right? OMG do you see how you talk yourself into getting mistreated?
[color:#000099] Um... she's my dog too and I love her. Sure he came to the R with the pooch and I the kitties, but they are my fur children. I love that dog more than I do most people.
You say the man was apparently charming to you for a relatively SHORT amount of time
and based on his ex wife's comments, this crappy behavior is MORE typical for him...the charming routine is his first act...[/color]
and making her unhappy and confused, and basically making MYSELF miserable is a good choice. why are you making yourself "miserable" by moving forward?
[color:#000099] nooooo...., making myself miserable by.. going into debt.. by having to find and pick a place with not lots of time to do it... to moving when it's minus a billion, and hell.. to even have to search for a place in the snow. I don't drive, so none of this is a piece of cake.
See, what you don't get is that IF there is a chance for him to wake up
it won't be by you acting as if all is well and none of his cruel behavior matters. [/color]
Very funny considering yours and everyone elses advice to most of the other people on here, even if their WAS is cheating and being horrible to them, you guys NEVER suggest the same to them. Interesting
If I did it, it would simply be to make the point to him that I CAN leave, which I think is ridiculous.
So, what point are you making by hanging around waiting for him NOT even being willing to be busy that night...but literally waiting at home for him w/the belief that you'll get a repeat of behavior from the start of the r? You could make a much stronger point that would further your cause more.
[color:#000099] My point? That I am mature enough to handle his homecoming and if I can get a decent convo out of him the night he returns, FANTATIC. I would love to hear where he is coming from. You guys forget.... we haven't had tons of ops to discuss all this. I just want to have a normal, face to face conversation with my ex.
What do you think his reaction will be? How about after the first night, as in the next day and weeks? Why will he change his mind?? Will you check his dating sites? What then? [/color]
From his past behavior? he will be happy to be home. He will be sad and depressed as he always is returning to his desk job. And I won't bother checking his dating sites because I found out all I needed to know.
I have never claimed that he was going to come home and whisk me off my feet. But read my threads as you will Labug.
I read your thread one day, as totally rational and strong, and then calling him to say you "miss" him a few days later...(which you regret saying.)
Then you post making constructive plans for your new life, b/c you "get it"...a man told you to leave and he wants NO committment with you AND has been on dating sites even when you thought things were good between you, so trust would be hard to regain....
and then a few days later, you're here telling us you will wait for him to arrive and then...see what happens...
and that sounds like backsliding to me. [/color]I could see how that was misunderstood. I meant see how things goin reference to his mood/our conversation. Meaning if it was going well and he was opening up unprovoked, great, maybe we could clear the air, if he was being a jerk face, and not willing, I would either book it to my bedroom, or leave the house. Not how WE as a couple go. As fore-mentioned, realistically, I think we are done, and if we are not, its going to take a lot of work before 'we fall back in to line'
