waiting for the tides to change

[BFloat]

Purg.. Thanks for the kind words. I think you're pretty fab yourself! We may be kindred spirits! Hahaha

H txted me asking when he should head home. I guess it's a good sign that he's still calling it home? Not reading too much into it. When he got there, it was so hard because of the way he looked at me. That.. I've hurt you so much and I'm sorry look..

I said we could talk for 5 mins. I started by saying I was disappointed in his decision because I hadnt expected him to say everything would go back to normal but I had hoped he would have given it more time. Mentioned a few minor things then told H that I didn't want to tell kids about D until everything was finalized. I didn't want them to start worrying. Also said I wanted to talk to kids at night when they were ready to go to bed. Kept it brief and then I said goodbye to the kids.. Hardest goodbye yet.. And then quickly hightailed it out of there to go cry in the car.

I ate dinner. That's a good step. Haven't had much of an appetite lately but mom bought some of my favourite stuff. She's worried.. I know. I have to muster up the strength and courage to live a happy life without H. It's really scary.